I got on a plane
to a faraway place
exchanging promises with God through each bout of turbulence
to a place which sits in a remote corner of the world
where I walked down jungled-covered paths
and I found beauty hiding.
In this place, I tried to understand the life I was leading and the world I was living in.
I wondered how it was that I’d ever become accustomed to thinking that the designer watch strapped to my wrist, the designer handbag hanging from my arm and the designer dresses that I draped myself in mattered or that they could offer me anything other than sterility and silence.
I wondered why it was that I plunged vast amounts of time and energy into thinking about things that I could not and would not ever be able to control.
I wondered why it was that I was so focussed on ticking off all the things I felt I needed to achieve but had little time to actually stop and breathe.
I looked at the ocean snaking in waves in front of me and I thought about the space where real life and where real living existed.
And I discovered the lightening bolt that I’d been searching for.
In the ocean, I discarded the value in the meaningless and I pledged allegiance to all the love and beauty in the world.
I knew that the shiny things I’d always painted and covered myself in didn’t balance me. And I knew that the magazines I read and the pictures they teased me with could never offer me a glimpse of any reality that I wanted.
I didn’t want escapism in my life. Nor did I want to dull my senses with shiny adornments.
I wanted a simple reality.
A reality that made my heart beat faster.
A reality which made all the joy, heartache, love, pain, beauty, living, dying, that had passed billions of times before me under these pink skies, in the wilderness of this world, worth it.
And in the paths I walked,
in the simple food I ate,
snorkeling to worlds remote,
and the people I met,
chatting under fiery skies,
I felt weightless.
I found the rhythm of life’s dance
where I was free to add my own love to the history of people who walked before me.
In the rainbow of life, I found beauty coming into being.
As I lie here now,
I paint these pictures in my mind’s eye,
as a trail,
and I remember it all,
with the certainty of tides,